Clemz

2009-07-04T15:50:00.002+08:00

I realised I couldnt control my emotions the last week.
At last i've finally seen the true colours of people.

2009-06-05T23:33:00.002+08:00

I always claim that i hate it when people take me for granted.
Never did i realise that,
The one that really take people for granted is actually me.
I tend to take people around me for granted,
especially the ones that are closer to me like my family and friends.

It wasnt until few weeks back that i realise this major flaw in me.
All along, i wasnt very appreciative towards my dad.
What i plan to do next is to treat my dad for a meal when Father's day arrive next week.
Sad to say,
This is actually the first time i'm doing something for my dad for father's day.

I want to be appreciative towards the people around me.

I'm trying to critique myself to become a better person.
As the saying goes,
Its better to be late than never.

Thank you ray for letting me see a clearer picture today.
I know i wasnt very appreciative of you as well.

2009-05-24T13:55:00.001+08:00

This is so true...

You are a type 1B Person

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

Kindness is a privilege not a norm

2009-05-17T00:32:00.007+08:00

Kindness is a privilege not a norm.

Well, one of my occasional unusual random thought again.
Not refering to anyone or any incident. :)

Sometimes i feel that we humans take things for granted.
Yes, i do admit.
I, myself, take things for granted as well.
It appears that we are beings that constantly want more.
We will never be satisfied in a stagnant situation.
When others show us kindness,
we would deem it as a norm.
Often we would take it for granted.
And we would never realise that it is a privilege and not a norm.
The ones that we often take for granted are the people that are closest to us.
Our families, our friends, our loved ones.

Does your dad drives you around?
Does your mum wash your clothes and cooks your meal?
Ask yourself this.
Have you ever said a "thank you" to your dad who drives you around,
and a "thank you" to your mum who washes your clothes and cooks your meals.
You might have shouted at them,
screamed at them or even beared grudges.
but they have always forgiven you because they love you.
But have you ever showed your appreciation for the things that they have done for you?

How about the way we treat our friends?
If there is a friend who shows you kindness,
as time passes, would you take his kindness for granted?
If one day, he/she no longer gives you the same treatment,
would you question he/she about it?
Take for example,
there's a friend who would always buy you gifts everytime they travelled.
If one day,
he did not bring back any gifts.
How would you feel?
Do you feel disappointed?
At times, we are so used to it
that we feel that others should give us the same usual treatment that we expected.
But when they dont,
we would just feel negative towards the situation,
pondering on why he/she didnt get us a gift.

How about in a relationship?
A guy might send a gal back home after every dates.
But what if one do he doesnt?
How would the gal feel?
If a guy send a gal one rose everyday.
On the 100th day, he didnt send any.
The gal would be expecting the rose.
But how would she feel if she didnt receive a rose on that day?
Likewise, a gal might do many sweet little gifts for a gal for every special occasion.
What if one day, she no longer prepare such gifts?
How would the guy feel?

I feel that taking kindness for granted is just an inevitable aspect of our life.
However, we really should start to appreciate the people around us more before we lose them.

Of course, Those mentioned above are just "What ifs".
You may disagree with me.
But before you start taking the next person for granted, do appreciate the kindness they have showed you. :)

NO ACT OF KINDESS, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, IS EVER WASTED.

2009-05-07T23:15:00.002+08:00

Survive but not forget your principles

How does it feels to be stuck in a place that is full of lies?

Everyone around you are lying.
They lie to cover their own asses.
They lie to please thieir supervisor.
They lie to get lesser duties and covers.
And they lie so that she would end her naggings earlier.

In such an environment,
it seems that the only choice that you have,
is to do what the others are doing.
To lie.
If you don't,
you'll be going against her.
And this means more duties and more overnight covers on weekends.

In such a situation,
what would you choose?
To follow your principles
or to betray your principles to give in to her so that you've a easier life in camp?

I was in her room for 4 hours along with the other 3 department ICs.
At that moment,
I just felt that they were liers.
Everyone was just lying to make her feel good.

I was so sick of lying and giving the "correct answer" just to please her.
I told the truth and opposed her directly.
The truth hurts.
And naturally, i was given punishments.
Normally, i would step out of her room feeling angry.
But that day,
I felt happy instead.
I no longer had to lie and please her.
She simply wasnt worth my time to be angry and upset.

Principles vs extra duties.
I'm still trying to adapt.
And i'm trying to find the best way to survive.
I know its hard not to let the way you survive in camp affect the way you deal with your personal life.
But i guess they key is to

Survive but not forget your principles.

2009-05-02T00:36:00.003+08:00

I chanced uopn a quiz at facebook today.

Tittled What's Your Mental Age?

The result?

6 Months Old.

You love to get pampered, take lots of naps, and eat mashed bananas. Okay, we're only speculating on the mashed bananas. And really, there's nothing wrong with that stuff. You love to be comfortable and close to the people you love. That stuff's all great! Just be sure to change your diaper every once in a while.

And i think that its kind of true.
I'm just like a kid in a overgrown body.
One of my friend commented yesterday,
"You're this year 21 right?"
With a sarcastic look, reacting to a reply that i made.

What's wrong with being immature?
This is me right?
And i've always behaved in this manner.

When i'm my usual self,
others would say that i'm immature.
But when i tried to act mature.
Others would say that i've changed.

This is really a dilemma. . .

2009-04-29T23:09:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flTqYYRTIZc

2009-04-26T23:23:00.002+08:00

Have you ever changed yourself for someone or something?
I did.
But in the end,
I realised I've tried too hard to change myself that it becomes so fake.
And this affected my relationship with others.
Thanks for letting me know what a different person i was in the past.

2009-04-23T22:32:00.003+08:00

I was out with Junius
We were crossing the road at dobhy ghoat when both of us were almost knocked down by a car.
And we decided to name the road " the 200k road" due to a joke i told.

Imagine both of us crossing the road.
A car dashed and knocked both of us down.
In a instant, we turned into $200 000 worth of cash.
(Proudly sponsored by Aviva and citibank insurance)

That's if you get the joke.
Never mind if you dont get it.
I know i'm bad at telling jokes.

2009-04-22T23:16:00.002+08:00

Few days back,
I was reading an article about abusive boyfriend.
The article was titled graveyard boyfriend or something like that.

The victim was a 43 year old manager,
earning as much as 10K a month.
While the abuser, 38 was earning 2.8K per month.

She commented that she practically knows all the cemetaries in singapore
as her boyfriend would driver her to such places to abuse her and rape her.
Knowing that no matter how hard she struggled or screamed,
there would be no one to save her.
As such, she gave in to his abuse.

Everytime she stepped into his car,
she fears that she might never step out alive again.
For fear for being abused further,
she would give in to his unreasonable request time after time.

I guess woman are simply beings with more emotions.
It's hard for them to leave their abusive partners
because of the fear and guilt instilled in them by their partners.

Relationship is just like a never ending cycle.
Unless woman of abuses use their logic and not their heart,
this cycle would never end.

Agree?

2009-04-19T22:26:00.004+08:00

Finally i realised i've a big problem.
The problem lies with me.
My character is simply flawed.
I was talking to wanni and she said that i'm not such a person.
Even if i was, she certainly didnt feel it tat way when we dated.

PS: Anyway, Thanks wanni for listening to my naggings. :)

blue vs red pill

2009-04-16T20:19:00.003+08:00

What if one day someone offers you 2 pills
-a red and a blue pill.

He tells you that all this while you had been living in a programmed environment.
Everyone and everything around you are fake!
Your family is fake!
Your friends are fake!
Your pets are fake!
The only problem is, you are real!

The red pill allows you to live in your current programmed environment.
The blue pill wakes you up from your programmed environment and returns you back to reality.
Which pill would you choose?

I would choose the red pill and continue to live in my virtual land.
I guess i'm more of a person who would rather continue to
believe in the lie that was so perfectly constructed
than to accept the reality.

what about you?

PS: Sounds familiar? Adapted from matrix the movie.

Paranoid schizophrenia

2009-04-04T10:42:00.002+08:00

There seems to be quite a few psychotic cases in my camp.
As a medic, i'm often in touch with such patients,
sending them to IMH on a few other occasions.

Recently, One of the patients suffered from pyschosis.
I was reading more on this condition on the net
and i stumbled across this condition called

Paranoid schizophrenia

Signs and symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia may include:

Auditory hallucinations, such as hearing voices
Delusions, such as believing a co-worker wants to poison you
Anxiety
Anger
Aloofness
Violence
Verbal confrontations
Patronizing manner
Suicidal thoughts and behavior

One of the symptoms of this disorder is
Auditory hallucination, such as hearing of voices.

An auditory hallucination is the perception of sound — usually voices — that no one else hears. The sounds may be a single voice or many voices. These voices may talk either to you or to each other. The voices are usually unpleasant. They may give a running critique of what you're thinking or doing, or they may harass you about real or imagined faults. Voices may also command you to do things that can be harmful to yourself or to others. When you have paranoid schizophrenia, these voices seem real. You may talk to or shout at the voices.

If you have any symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, seek medical help as soon as possible.

reference:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/paranoid-schizophrenia/DS00862/DSECTION=symptoms

2009-04-02T23:30:00.002+08:00

Tired?

-Engine stalling,
-Changing to a wrong gear,
-Driving into the wrong lane,
-Losing concentration while driving,
-And alighting at the wrong bus stop.

I guess these are the tall tale signs of being exhausted.
I had a long week.
Driving lessons after work,
visiting grandma in hospital,
overnight duty on friday.
Not forgetting 2 class gathering during the weekend.
Add another 2 driving lessons on mon and tue the following week.
And another dinner on wed.

I guess i've pushed myself too hard trying to get a driving license.
I guess i need a break and a well deserved rest.
I really do!

2009-03-21T22:26:00.003+08:00

I'm a slow learner.
And i'm unable to cope with the fast pace as the lesson progresses.
This just makes me feel so dumb.

I've always known that i'm a person with low self confidence.
And this is rather depressing...

2009-03-19T20:47:00.002+08:00

She nagged for another hour today.
But i was glad that i was able to shun away from her naggings.

2009-03-17T23:00:00.000+08:00

I'm so damn screwed.

2009-03-16T23:49:00.003+08:00

True self

One of my friend once told me this:

"Your true self is the one that you are most comfortable with."

I remembered telling him that i'm comfortable in both selfs.

So i do not really not what my true self is.

But now i guess,

i finally realised what my true self is.

And only few of my friends have seen my true self.

This makes me ponder,

How would others react if they saw a different "me".

Would they be able to accept it?

Would they be totally shocked and surprised?

Would they wonder what's wrong with me today?

And that's for me find out, and you to know. . .

2009-03-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

I'm so excited!
And I'm gasping for air. . .
Cos someone has just unlocked the other side of me! :D

2009-03-11T22:22:00.002+08:00

My Superior is terrible.
Can someone please teach me some survival skills
to survive for another 1 1/2 years
Away from the clutches of the evil witch...

2009-03-09T23:37:00.002+08:00

I'm being posted to the medical centre
that has won the tittle of
"Best Medical Centre" for the second year running.
And sure expectations would be demanding as the senior medic would want to win the tittle for the 3rd consecutive year.

When i reported to the HQ for interview before reporting to the Medical Centre,
One of the guy there told me that this would be the worst posting as I had the worst senior medic ever.
Wish me All the best in enduring the rest of my 1 1/2 years under a demanding senior medic.

A text msg my SMTI buddy sent me this morning:

Enjoy your stay at your new place buddy...Remember you are not a trainee anymore... So watch your back...

2009-03-09T22:56:00.002+08:00

I was at the amusement centre with ben and mich on sat.
Someone had dropped in 60 cents,
but the token machine could only dispense a token worth 50 cents with no change given.
Upon seeing this,
Ben was totally excited and he began searching for coins,
throwing in another 40 cents in order for the token to be dispensed.
He sure was delighted that he gained 10 cents! :)

2009-03-04T20:58:00.001+08:00

I feel very troubled
But the best thing is i dont even know what i'm troubled about.
I guess i'm just having too many problems to ponder about...

2009-03-01T13:16:00.003+08:00

Vicky's birthday was Great!
The atmosphere, the people, the decors, the performances...
This was just like a wedding dinner with games and performances from friends and relatives.

One of the mini games included bringing items which started with the letters
V-I-C-K-Y
I was joking to my friends that C is for Clement.
And they should bring me to the stage.
And they really did!
And i was made to sit on the stage together with the other items.
The host commented that I must be a really good friend as i sarcrificed myself to be an item.
In the end, i contributed my Velcro bag, my keychain, and myself
and we won the 1st prize.

At the end of the dinner,
the function room evolved into a dance floor.
And i was pulled along with the others to the front.
I must have been crazy to have obliged
as one of vicky's cousin invited me to dance with him
despite the number of people looking...

I must say it was a great night as i meet familiar faces like
sal, meimei, farhana, mohana, zul, saras and jacintha.

okay. Now back to reality...
I guess the past 3 months was a bonus to me.
Being in SMTI was an enjoyable moment.
Now i await my posting...
Perhaps the real NS is just starting.

People always said that trainee life is always the best as you are being protected.

2009-02-22T20:26:00.002+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday Mich!!
Happy 22th Birthday Joanne!!

This year is really a taxing year as everyone is celebrating their 21st.
I've given it a thought.
I might want to leave singapore for a few days of carefree life on my 21st!

2009-02-18T20:42:00.002+08:00

This is my 1st night out since i've enlisted.
I just ended my guard duty this morning.
ANd i would rather spend these precious few hours at home rather than having fun outside.

2009-02-11T21:20:00.002+08:00

Chian, Take care of yourself when you're in Australia.
I'll miss you...
Cya again next year! :D

2009-01-27T01:00:00.003+08:00

Chinese New Year has always been boring as usual.
Let's see what day 2 of CNY has to offer.

2009-01-11T10:01:00.002+08:00

Split personalites?

Sometimes i think that i have split personalities.
I tend to react differently around different people.
When i'm with my sec guy frens,
i tend to be a joker and crap so much that sometimes they cant even stand me.
At other times, i can be very quiet and talk little.

When i was at countdown with my group of poly frens,
they thought that i was drunk as i was talking a lot of crap that day.
I guess they just haven seen that side of me
as i'm normally quiet and reserved in front of them.

So i wonder,
what is my real self?
Is it the one that behaves craziliy or the quiet and reserved one?
My fren told me your true self would be the one you feel most comfortable in.
And i think i got my answer. :)

2009-01-01T02:28:00.004+08:00

Live each day as it goes

Happy New Year!
Over the past few years, i've had quite a lot of experiences.
For the past few years, i would compare the current year to the past years.
I would always ask myself is this year better than the last?
Was i happier this year as compared to the last?

But i guess for this year,
I would just want to live each day as it goes.
If u know that you would be unhappy if you think of something,
then why bother thinking about it?
If you know that by doing something,
you would end up being unhappy, then why bother doing it?

This was what i told thomas just now and he agreeded.
I guess this would be my motto/resolution or whatever you call it for this year.

Live each day as it goes.
Only Worry about the problem when it presents itself upon you.

May 2009 be a better year everyone!

2008-12-28T00:15:00.003+08:00

Pains of a househusband

I was watching this chinese drama this morning.
There was this character who was a career woman played by Huang Biren.
She had a wonderful househusband who was a Mr Nice.
Even when he found out that his wife was having a affair outside,
He did not confront her.
Instead he just suffered in silence and even spoke good words for his wife when his mum suspected something was amiss.
However, to the wife,
the husband is just an useless man.
He is just too useless to even have the guts to confront her.

This is something to ponder about.
Is it true that when a husband is too nice,
the wife would just think that
he is an useless man and can be taken advantage of?

twister

2008-12-20T01:41:00.001+08:00

Twister is a fun game.
It definately brings out the most embarrassing pose among people.

blessed

2008-12-18T00:08:00.020+08:00

Eventful Day!

I just had a great day and i can say i'm overjoyed!

First of all, i meet up with frens whom i've not seen for quite a while.
Secondly, i received gifts out of a sudden.

Had went back to henderson secondary for a SJAB camp
They had a BBQ session
and i'm was happy to see some of the familiar faces whom i've not seen for a long time.

The familiar faces:

The seniors in SJAB are all either racist, gays or lesbians.
The food:
Morning breakfast
Even Night snacks!
The comp team cadets:

The Uniform of SJAB was really a beauty as compared to the ugly disgusting fatigue.

It seems that nowadays they cant knock it down after a meal and they're doing half squat instead.
Some cheers before a meal.

This was the super cute cadet ~~i had eyes on~~

whom i called "mai mian bao de xiao nu hai"

(The Little gal who sold bread)

I went back to chinatown and

had met up with Xiao Wen for lunch as she was working near the area.

And i was kind of surprised that
she passed me this little soft toy which i think is a little tiger.

Thanks for the gift! :D It was so random.

I had also met up with Howe Luen, my close fren whom i've not seen after enlistment.

After dinner, we proceeded to kallang leisure park for ice skating.

I was definately a noob at it but i was really glad she taught me some of the basics to skate
And i'm proud that i learnt the trick after a couple of falls.

When i got home, what really caught me by surprise was the package on my table.

My mum told me that my birthday gift from the sisters amabel & amanda had arrived.

It's been 4 years since 2004 and she never fails to remember my birthday. :D

Along with the birthday gifts, came along a X mas & New year card too.

I'm feel so blessed! :D

2008-12-12T15:30:00.004+08:00

Gossip Gal & guys?

Its been quite a while since i last drank beer.
It was a session of divulging secrets when we were high.
Nevertheless, it was definately a nice and enjoyable experience hanging out with the two.

2008-12-12T15:19:00.002+08:00

A big Thank U for all those who wished me on my birthday!
And thank you for the delicious cupcakes! =)

2008-11-25T00:38:00.002+08:00

I was watching this Ch 8 program featuring Christopher lee.
It was a documentary showing
how volunteers from SP and other organisations tidied up
and refurnished the home of an low income couple with 4 kids.
The wife was also from liver failure.
In the end,
the group of volunteers managed to turn the rugged flat into a nicely furnished one.

I've always been wanting to do some community work
And to put my time to doing something meaningful.

2008-11-25T00:34:00.001+08:00

I guess the coming weekend has got be to the worst weekend of my entire life.

2008-11-23T18:11:00.002+08:00

My fever was up to 40 degrees and i was panting this morning.
That was when i went to a govt hospital near my place
and i was totally disatisfied with their service.

I was told that this is normal and i dont have to come to the hospital.
And taking 2 days of antibiotics, my fever would not go down.
They are not miracle drugs.
And the doctor told me that even if i come, he'll still prescribe me with the same medcine.

What's worst is that when they were outside.
I heard them gossiping saying that "only 2 days of antibiotic still come to hospital"
And the nurse told him "I already told him they are not miracle pills"
It just makes me so offended.
Just where is the code of conduct that hospital staffs should follow.
And i believe gossiping behind the patient's back isnt a very ethical thing to do.

I was told that i would be put on drips by another staff but in the end,
i was just prescribed with some pills.
And i believe the doctor is rushing to go home as i saw him changing to normal clothes and going back while i was collecting the medcine.

Not all army guys are trying to Malinger.
There are those that are really sick who needs urgent attention.
And next time when i'm sick,
i would rather go to see a private doctor instead.

2008-11-23T00:22:00.000+08:00

My fever just went up again at a high of 39.2.
Despite this, i still had an enjoyable day today.
Thanks for all the wishes and presents and treats from everyone. =)

2008-11-09T01:08:00.000+08:00

When i was outfield,
how i wished i just had a cup of cold drink.

2008-11-02T01:07:00.002+08:00

I've been getting very sick of cookhouse food recently.
Now i realise,
Its a blessing to have homecooked food.

2008-10-12T02:24:00.000+08:00

I saw this interesting paragraph from my fren's blog:

I once asked my mum: "Most people who are rich do not have a good character...
Most people with great character do not make it rich... What is your opinion?"
Her respond was: "Do you believe that you can strike a balance between both. . ."
I nodded and break a smile.

2008-10-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

About 2 months back, i had done a love tarrot spread for my fren
and it showed a positive result.
When i met up with my fren today,
he told me that he had won the gal's heart.
So i wonder.
Is it really accurate?
Would the outcome be the same if i had not done the spread for him?
Or was it because of the positive outcome that encouraged him to move ahead.
But one thing i'm certain of is that
I no longer believe in tarrots
But i'll start do tarrot spread for others if they ever need one.

2008-09-28T01:16:00.002+08:00

i'm back from the 2 weeks confinement period.
Everything seems rather ok other climbing 5 flights up, and 5 flights down
from our bunk to the parade square.
But i believed that everything will change from sun night onwards
as the honeymoon period had ended.
We've been warned that we'll see the true colours of our platoon sergeant.

2008-09-13T00:46:00.002+08:00

Its a great feeling to be calling up my frens one by one a day before enlistment.
And i'm rather happy that quite a number of my family members actually called me to wish me all the best...

But yet again i'm upset as the timing is always wrong...

2008-09-10T01:34:00.007+08:00

Melting choco was not an easy task
as the flames must be there and it must be stirred continuously.
Otherwise the chocolate would harden.

Thanks mich for the tip! =)

2008-09-06T00:28:00.004+08:00

My palm swelled and its feeling a bit numb.
I guess its become of the load i carried to the chalet -_-

Chalet ended.
But somehow i still blame myself for being too hesistant,
for not being able to book the chalet on 4 to 6 sept.
I blame myself for the low turnout rate and i blame myself that the enlisted guys could not join us at the chalet.

I've always had high expectations on the things i do.

I was dissapointed with my O level results.
I was never satisfied that i could not maintain the grades i wanted for my final semester.
And there are a lot of times where i would critique myself and blame myself for not getting the ideal end product that i wanted it to be.

I guess this is the way i am.
I would want things to be perfect but when i realise that its not,
i'll cry over spilled milk.

2008-09-03T12:18:00.001+08:00

Chalet here i come...

And this should be my last day in telok blangah if nothing goes wrong...

2008-09-03T08:53:00.005+08:00

It was super messed up!

But i believed the result was worth the mess. =)

2008-08-31T18:15:00.002+08:00

I accompanied Peiyun to a Red cross junior's 21st birthday party.
And it was the grandest birthday party i've ever attended.
Bungalow resorts at changi ferry point, "Fire eating" performances, singing and dancing...
It was just like a dinner and dance cum wedding dinner.

20th birthday's coming soon..
And i'm sure my 21st birthday wouldnt be that great
cos i'll be spending the day in camp with my fellow camp mates perhaps. =)

2008-08-26T12:20:00.001+08:00

I had a nice dream yesterday.
But i woke up to realise that it was only a dream.
Such things wont happen to me...

2008-08-25T12:19:00.001+08:00

I suddenly remembered Thomas once said to me:
What are you optimistic about?

2008-08-25T11:43:00.002+08:00

To protect yourself, do you have to sell your soul to the Devil?

2008-08-25T11:33:00.002+08:00

I guess i'm experiencing the
Post Work Random Thoughts Syndrome
This feeling is terrible.

2008-08-25T00:06:00.002+08:00

Dreamland is over.
And now is the time to face the reality.
Sometimes i just wish there's someone with me to solve my problems.

2008-08-24T02:48:00.001+08:00

And i'm still stuck in Hong Kong...
Hopefully there wont be any more delays.

2008-08-22T14:21:00.002+08:00

Typhoon No 9 in Hong Kong.
Guess I'm stuck in the hotel today.
Hopefully i can return back tomorrow.

PS: Sitze says that if he dies, any kind soul reading this entry, please help tell his mum and sisters that he loves them...

Me: -_- LOL

2008-08-18T00:12:00.003+08:00

I really think that going away on a trip
like a free and easy trip is really a learning experience.
And i'm sure i'll learn to be more independent after this trip.
If given the chance, i would love to go to an overseas mission trip to do some community work.
And i would want to try bagpacking too! =)

Would be away! =)

2008-08-15T00:21:00.002+08:00

I was really stressed up just now..
I was very confused and I seemed so helpless.

But Ben said this to me:

"U're not born a juggler, so no nd to solve so many probs at 1 time..
Focus on the urgent 1 1st.. Take things easy"

And he was saying that i think too much..

Yes i really think that i need to relax myself and not stress myself up with problems that might not even occur.

Thanks Ben! =)

2008-08-14T00:46:00.002+08:00

I'm getting sick and tired of bugging one after another for a confirmation.
In the end, everything would still be back to square one...
No one cares and no one bothers...

2008-08-13T13:45:00.000+08:00

We are not your slaves.
Do it yourself!

2008-08-13T00:27:00.004+08:00

I do admit i always have a lot of thoughts in my mind.
On the train, buses, on my bed before i sleep and even in the showers.
And sometimes i would have so much thoughts in my mind that i cant remember whether i've already shampooed my hair or use the shower foam or washed my face. . .

2008-08-12T23:47:00.002+08:00

N.A.T.O
No Actions Talk Only

2008-08-12T23:10:00.000+08:00

There's nothing to look forward to.
Everything is just a routine...

Major changes

2008-08-12T00:05:00.002+08:00

Major changes

There will be a lot of changes in my company.
I'm leaving, another of my colleague's leaving.
And now my Assistant operation manager is leaving as well.

This is partly due to the negaive additions to the company recently.
Gone were the times where we could chat happily when the boss left early.

I really pity him.
As an assitant operations manager,
he even has to do manual chores like hanging curtains, setting up all the computers in the computer labs, moving and arranging the tables and chairs, changing of water barrel and all the odd jobs.

My other colleague who's leaving and I would help him with the odd jobs?
But what about the others?

They simply cant be bothered to give a helping hand.
And what were they doing?
They would just be chatting around and worst still,
some were even snacking.

And the fact is, it was THEY who wanted the tables and chairs to be moved,
the computer labs to be set up.

And why arent they giving us a helping hand?
They are just simply treating the old staffs like their slaves.

If you want something, do it yourself.
Even if you do not want to help, do not simply walk in to check whether things are done and walk away.
And just stick to your own roles and do not attempt to control the manager.

Even i cant take it!
This is just not the right attitude to treat people.
They are simply not giving any respect to him as a manager.
Not to mention my other 2 colleagues.

Some people are just like that.
They are selfish and they have only themselves to care about.
They just do not care whether how others are feeling.

When my manager told me that he was leaving.
I was very supportive of him.

I told him that he was always put others before himself
but would others appreciate?
The answer is no.
Only when things goes wrong, they'll just turn back and hold him responsible.
Since others did not even have empathy on you,
why should you be concerned about how the company's doing.
Some people will never be appreciative of what you've done for them.

I began curious and asked him if his friends/people around him always take him for granted and never appreciates what he has done for them.
Unsurprisingly, his reply was yes.
And he told me that he would just "forget and forget" (which used to be my favourite quote)
But this time round,
he simply cant take it anymore.

I've really seen a lot of ugly human behaviors these few days.
And I'm getting more and more disgusted by the ugliness of mankind!.
Where have all the good people gone to!?

I do agree that both of us are very similar in terms of character and we do share the same horoscope, but do i really want to suffer the sane fate as him?
Sometimes I believe these are the tall tale signs telling me to change the way i am...

"The pastures are never greener on the other side"

2008-08-11T23:42:00.005+08:00

"The pastures are never greener on the other side"

I've learnt my lesson.
i would always think that the pastures are greener on the other side
And i would be hesitant over the current pastures that i'm facing.
And i realised that i'm very very wrong.

When i cross over to the other side,
only then will i realise that the pastures on the other side was never as green as i expected.
When i realise my mistake and turn back,
I would realise the once green land would have turned into a barren desert.

Silly me.
Why am i always putting others before myself.
Why should i even care if the price would be too expensive for them?

It was because of all these considerations that i tried to sought out a cheaper resort.
And when all was not available,
I turned back to find that even fri night had been fully booked.

This means that the turnout would be even lower than expected.
I've created additional problems for myself.
Now I can only hope that nothing more goes wrong.

"The pastures are never greener on the other side"

2008-08-10T23:25:00.003+08:00

I was at one of my relative's house for housewarming
and i begun drinking with my godfather.
5 glasses of vodka mixed with coke.
And i fnally understood how the feeling of hangover is like.
It was really terrible!

PS: I realised that something seems to be wrong with my phone. Sometimes i do not receive msg. So i'm sorry if anyone of you has texted me but i didnt reply.

2008-08-09T13:50:00.001+08:00

I just dont understand why i would want to take up additional responsibilities and make myself stressed up...

2008-08-08T09:12:00.000+08:00

i'll be partying the nite away on fri nite. =)
Happy Birthday Guan Chuan and Maniraj!

2008-08-08T00:27:00.003+08:00

Thoughts

I had a long conversation with one of my fren
and i've learnt a lot today.
And i really have a lot of thougts in me at the moment...

He was sharing with me about how his colleague (lets call him A) was being bullied at work because he's always too nice.
Some clients had requested to come earlier before the exact time to do preparations for a wedding.
Not having the heart to reject them,
he agreed to make an exception even if it means he'll have to report to work much earlier.

This is when the real trouble started..
This client told another friend of his who wanted to hold an event there about A.

Likewise, if his friend could request to arrive at the event earlier,
He would want the same treatment as well.

The first time, the client requested to come 15 minutes earlier than the expected time.
A was agreeable.
However, people normally take things for granted.
Having realised that A could be easily taken advantage,
this time he requested for 1hour in advance.

But A decided not to accept his request this time round,
as this would means that he would have to wake up really early to prepare the venue for the client.
Unhappy that his request was being rejected,
the client decided to make a complain to A's boss,
explaining that if A has could make a compromise on 15 mins,
what difference does it make for A to agree to an hour in advance
as he had already breeched the rule of the company regardless of whether it is 15 mins earlier or an hour earlier from the expected time.

In the end, A had no choice but to agree to the terms of an hour in advance after orders from his boss.

This really pondered a lot of thoughts in me...
Sometimes when you are soft hearted
and you try to be nice to others as you wanted to make their life easier.
But what do you get?
Instead of being appreciated and a "thank you" from others,
You get a stab in the back.
Its like "digging your own grave" and "asking for a stab in the back".

Sometimes people just take things for granted when others treat them well.
However, if the person no longer gives u the same treatment,
Instead of feeling appreciated and saying a "Thank You" for what they've done for you
They'll rebut you and turn their backs on you,
expecting the same treatment that you have always given.

Does it really pay to be nice?
The answer is unfortunately no.
When you are too nice to others, people see this weakness in you and exploit it for their personal gains.

Welcome to the real world where people make use of one another for their own gains.
We live in a world where everyone is selfish.
And this explains why there are so many office politics around.

In the past, someone once told me that "we keep friends because we are making use of one another when the need for it arises"
When we need need a company for dinner, someone to talk to or even someone to hang out with.
What are we thinking of?
In nicer terms, we may say that we always have good friends around us whom we can turn to when we need them.
But Are we just making use of others in order to relieve our stress, or just plainly finding someone to hang out with to counter our boredom?
Do we only turn to them when we have need them and cast them aside when we do not need them?

Feelings of mankind are complicated.
And we certainly do not behave like mices who run around searching for food.

I was saying to my friend how this nice world would be if everyone treats the people around them nicely.
Then there would be no office politics, no wars, no crimes and there would be world peace.
He was laughing at my naiveness and saying this is crap.

And i believe that i'm always being too optimistic.
I used to think that as long as i treat everyone around me nicely,
there would be no reason for others to hate me.

And unfortunately i'm wrong.
No matter how nice a person you are,
there would always be someone out there who hates you,
hating you for whatever reason there is.

And my fren ended with this say:
"You come to this world crying because you know that you'll suffer later on. But you leave this world smiling because you know that all your burdens are finally gone."

No wonder some people says that living is more of a torture than dying. .

2008-08-07T16:53:00.000+08:00

I was at the doctor's today
and the doctor said that i was having low blood pressure...

2008-08-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

I was rather disappointed at the turnout of the last chalet
and i told myself i'll not organise another chalet.
But i guess i'm just softhearted.
I want a chalet..
And i'm looking forward to one! =)

2008-07-28T14:46:00.001+08:00

I believe someday i might suffer from depression...

2008-07-28T10:08:00.003+08:00

I cant be bothered wasting my time explaining things.
And I dont own you any explanations.
Think whatever you like.
If you think that i'm interested in her, so be it!

Let me tell you,
I'm having a red cross gathering with some of my RC mates this week.
If you are so insecure, just ask her not to attend it and stay away from any gatherings in the future.
If you are still afraid, just ask her to stay away from me!

2008-07-28T10:02:00.002+08:00

Just where was everyone when i just needed someone to talk to?!

2008-07-28T00:52:00.002+08:00

I've had enough of your nonsense!
This is the already the 3rd time that you are repeating the same old grandmother story.
If i really was interested in your gf, you wouldnt even have a chance in the 1st place.
Stop disturbing my peace and get out of my life for good!
Get a fucking life!

2008-07-25T18:07:00.002+08:00

I'm so STRESSED UP at work!

2008-07-24T23:59:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling rather grouchy today..
And i realise i do complain a lot when i'm feeling grouchy.
Even minor things which i'm normally fine with,
like the guy beside me taking up the 3/4 of the bus seats,
would makes me feel irritated.

Perhaps its working stress,
Perhaps its the rain..

And i hope tommorow i would wake up with a better mood.

Sometimes I wonder

2008-07-24T12:22:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wonder

I was taking to ben yesterday,
and he told me that his colleagues had been saying that
nowadays he has became more heartless and he is now stricter
and would no longer give any "short cuts' to clients.

His colleague pointed out that this change was good for him
as he's no longer being taken advantage by clients.

Ben commented that i was being too soft hearted.
which is why others would always take advantage of me and take me for granted.
In fact, quite a few of me friends have been saying that i'm indeed too soft hearted.
I wonder. what if one day, i do really change.
Will this change be good?
Perhaps i should really change and become more heartless?

2008-07-22T23:32:00.006+08:00

If you haven realise,

My favourite actress/singer is Mandy Moore. =)

2008-07-21T23:45:00.002+08:00

And i'm feeling happy today =)

Btw, Happy 20th birthday Wanni!

2008-07-21T00:17:00.001+08:00

My new blogskin is still undergoing construction. =)

2008-07-14T00:13:00.002+08:00

Irony

I saw this today and i found it an irony.

The sign says: State land. No ball games.

And below it, a goal post is fastenend to the post.

What an irony!

2008-07-10T23:19:00.003+08:00

Thanks Auntie Tay of ICA

These 2 days i've been spending most of my working time idling in ICA.
I was being sent by my company to collect Single Journey Visas for the foreign students.
And i was quite irritated by the long waitin hours
2 1/2 hours on tue and 6 hrs today.

There was problems with my application today
I really felt helpless as i was the middleman between ICA and my company.
and thankfully there was Auntie Tay.

i felt like a pest as i did bugged her a few times
as i had to call my colleague a few times before getting back to her.
I was really apologetic but she said it was alright as that was part of her job.

My colleague came shortly after as the confusion could not be settled.
I was supposed to get another queue number
but thankfully auntie tay was kind enough to allow me to jump queue.
And i was really grateful that she used her lunch hour to process my documents.
Otherwise i would have to wait for a couple of hours more?

Thank you, Auntie Tay! =)

2008-07-10T00:46:00.002+08:00

I really do need some help in blogskins desperately.
All the blogskins which i really like seems to be incompatible with my blog.
Anyone??

2008-07-09T23:51:00.001+08:00

Thanks PeiYun for the wonderful gift from Jakarta! =)

july 7

2008-07-07T23:54:00.004+08:00

Life is a Learning long process

Today's 7 July 2008
And 7th July 2007 would always be a date that i would remember.
Coincidentally, it was also earth day
where they had concerts all over the world to save Gaia.

Over this past year,
I've been learning.
Learning through experiences.
And i believed i did change for the better.

I strongly believe that Life is a learning long process.
And together with experience,
it just enables you to handle life better.

男人女人

2008-07-02T12:57:00.007+08:00

男人女人 (Man & Woman)

I really like this chinese duet

and i think that the lyrics is really meaningful.

Initially i was trying to summarise it into english but the translation became very stupid so i gave up. .

So ask those chinese speaking if you are interested...

许茹芸阿穆隆-男人女人

女:爱爱爱爱了几回

也明白其中滋味

付出的从来不会等于收回

我却还在等待着

谁能出现

男:伤伤伤伤了几回

也曾经为爱憔悴

爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈

我却还是学不会狠心对谁

女:男人男人

多希望你是好人

多希望用你的真

让我不必再心疼

男:女人女人

我答应做个好人

我答应用我一生

来换你的快乐一生

女:爱爱爱爱了几回

也明白其中滋味

付出的从来不会等于收回

我却还在等待着

谁能出现

男:伤伤伤伤了几回

也曾经为爱憔悴

爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈

合:我却还是学不会

狠心对谁

女:男人男人

多希望你是好人

多希望用你的真

让我不必再心疼

男:女人女人

我答应做个好人

我答应用我一生

来换你的快乐一生

女:男人男人

多希望你是好人

多希望用你的真让

我不必再心疼

男:女人女人

我答应做个好人

合:不会再让我(你)心疼

一等再等

你就是我等的那个人

男:男人男人

女:女人女人

合:多么希望你是对的人

2008-06-30T23:17:00.002+08:00

Worst night ever

I had the worst nightmare ever yesterday.
Not Once, Not Twice but Thrice.

One of the dream i could remember was
I was looking at the mirror and
my lower half of my teeth started falling out bits by bits.
It started with 3 teeth and soon the lower half of my teeth was all gone.
This was so horrifying and shocking that i was awoken.
And i was really glad that it was all a dream.
Surprisingly, it's already the 3rd time i've had such dreams.

The other dream was really creepy.
I was with a room with a few others.
In front of me laid a body of an old man which resembled my dead grandad but just skinner.
But i know he was not
I was asking the others around me whether they could see it.
But all of them could not!
And suddenly that body awoke and walked towards me.
There was nothing i could do.
ANd it was really freaky!!

I told my colleague about this dream and she asked whether i've offended any spirits.
I hope i've not...

2008-06-27T00:09:00.013+08:00

Penang was Great!

The shopping centre was so empty that i could even squat in the middle of the shopping centre without anyone noticing.

The Sun sure sets rather late in penang. It's still rather bright at 7:30pm.

Sightseeing on a jeep.

Which feet is prettier? Hmmm...

And i'm had difficulties carrying the stuffs back...

2008-06-24T00:22:00.001+08:00

I'm going to change my blogskin soon.

Perhaps to something darker...

A random sketch

2008-06-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

A random sketch

I was bored while invigilating an exam today.

And i drew this.

Its a random sketch though.

And i waS supposed to draw fire intially but i kept adding on.. -_-

ANyway i'll call it my guardian devil at work since its no angel.

And it's resting in peace on the window beside my workdesk now...

2008-06-17T23:26:00.001+08:00

And i'm back from Penang.
Penang was Great!

2008-06-13T00:54:00.002+08:00

Anonymous Stranger which made my day

I was on my way back today and my Ez link ran out of cash.
With the only remaining $2 note in my wallet,
I approached an Indian lady for small changes.
She took out her wallet and she had only $1.60 in change.
I was prepared to pass her to my $2 in exchange for her $1.60.
But to my surprise, she said i could have the $1.60.

I was stunned for a while as this was totally unexpected!
I took the $1 and returned her $0.60 after thanking her.
When my bus came, i wanted to turn back and give her a smile.
But i was too shy to do so.
But whoever you are, I really thank you.
And you seriously made my day.
And i would want to be nicer to people =)

2008-06-11T01:22:00.002+08:00

Met up with some of the guys from O one O seven just now.

All the best to Jay and WeeTong for your 1st 3 weeks in camp.

Not forgetting thomas as well...

All the best to you too!

dating persona

2008-06-11T01:01:00.002+08:00

I was blog hopping just now and i came across a dating persona test which i find rather interesting.

It may be long, but do take a look if you are free.

http://www.okcupid.com/online.dating.persona.test

The Boy Next Door

Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.

Your exact male opposite:

The 5-Night Stand

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

Always avoid: The Nymph (DBSD)

Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), The Peach (RGLM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test OkCupid - singles Dating

2008-06-05T00:13:00.003+08:00

I was out with Pei Yun last week,

And she asked me a question which i found interesting.

She asked me why most of my good frens appear to be females.

Similarly, when i was out with thomas today,

he was also puzzled by this fact too.

I've thought of it for a while.

But i just had no answer.

It just happens this way...

What's really on their mind?

2008-06-03T00:01:00.002+08:00

What's really on their mind?

They say that a quiet person is a dangerous person

as you will never know what's on their mind.

And i believe i belong to the quiet category...

2008-06-02T00:02:00.005+08:00

I'll be looking into the field of physiotherapy...

Conflicts between Cultures

2008-05-30T00:51:00.006+08:00

Conflicts between Cultures

I had a heart-warming chat with my colleague from the states these 2 days.

This is one of the experience she shared with me:

In the US,

The boss do not scold.
Instead, they tell their employees in a nice manner on what needs to be changed and how it can be improved.

However in Asian culture,

Bosses here literally treat you like a kid with their constant scoldings without telling you what they are expecting.

And through her, i've really learnt a lot.

She is a nice lady with a very frank and open attitude.
However, this frank and direct attitude is also the main obstacle for her to adapt to the local culture.

How wonderful this world be if everyone treats the people around them with a smile.
But i know this is not possible...